Health & Wellness

Moving from Sabotage to Success

Victoria Holmes
by Victoria Holmes

Writing is one of my absolute favourite things yet I found myself procrastinating to sit down and write this article on self-sabotage. Well, that’s interesting. It seems that even though I am aware of self-sabotage I still practice it as a familiar standby position knowing (on some level) that if I wait long enough, I will have to rush to write this article, feel stressed, alleviate that stress with food, and then feel unhappy with myself for procrastinating and over-indulging. I have repeated this behavior in different areas of my life often enough that the behaviour has now turned into a pattern. If I continue down this path, the pattern will have become my life. Not exactly the legacy I have been dreaming of!

One of the first steps to stopping self-sabotage is to recognise the patterns and/or areas of your life you are sabotaging. For example, let’s say you want to lose 20 pounds. You wake up, look in the bathroom mirror and say to yourself: ‘Listen here you fat slob, don’t screw it up again today. Surely you must have some will power, quit being so weak and lose some weight. I can’t believe how much you have let yourself go.’  By Monday afternoon at 3, you give into to the sugar craving and vow to start dieting again tomorrow (but since you already blew it for today, you might as well have a high calorie supper and evening snacks). By the time you go to bed that night you have a long list of reasons to beat yourself up with self-criticism and self-loathing. Tuesday morning arrives with the realization that you have too many social engagements, favorite TV shows, and too much stress to diet this week anyways…but next Monday, for sure, you are going to start eating healthy and exercising. For real. 

Now imagine the same scenario but with self-love replacing self-sabotage. You wake up in the morning, smile at yourself in the bathroom mirror knowing that you love yourself exactly as you are. You lovingly get ready for your day, choosing clothes you feel good in, and packing a lunch that honours your body for taking such good care of you. By 3 that afternoon, you start to think about having something sweet and lovingly feed your body nourishing food. You are radiant, loving to yourself and others, and exude gratitude for all of the goodness in your life, acting as if you are in optimum mental and physical health right now. That night as you go to bed you think about your amazing life and mentally prepare yourself to have an awesome day tomorrow too. Do you still make mistakes?  Of course you do, and you recognise the issues, and let them go, knowing that everything will always work out to your highest good. 

The scenario I used as an example can be used in every area of your life where you recognise self-sabotage. Some common areas are in the workplace, your relationships, financial well-being, your physical, mental and spiritual health as well as your overall attitude towards others. If you are living in a low vibration in these areas of your life, you are likely not only sabotaging yourself, but the people around you as well.

Today is the day to be brutally honest with yourself and identify your authentic self. Then honour yourself by acting in your own best interest every day. There is nothing selfish about this because the more you grow the more you will unconsciously give others the permission to do the same.  As you identify the patterns in your life that are holding you in a lower vibration, observe them and make a decision to let them go. Then carry on with your life while holding your highest intention. It is completely acceptable to be your own best friend and show yourself with the same love you would show a friend. Let go of all self-judgement, and stop comparing your darkest secrets to the brightest moments of others.

When you decide to release all self-sabotage procrastination will fall away. Your actions will open doors for you to help you achieve your dreams, so make sure you are taking action daily. You are ready to become what you aspire to become. Any self-doubt about that comes along is from your lower ego and not from your highest self; when you identify it immediately let it go.  It is a lifelong journey to stay connected to your higher self and to release ego driven thoughts and actions which are always fed by fear and insecurity. Over time you will see this journey is one of the most abundant blessings in your life.

Switching your perspective is not always easy but it is achievable. To help do this develop a daily practice which includes using positive and kind thoughts when thinking and speaking about yourself and others, feed your mind and soul with motivational books, positive affirmations and uplifting quotes. Finally, make time daily for a spiritual connection whether that is prayer, meditation, connecting with nature or in any way that resonates with you.  You can trust yourself now more than ever.  

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